So what exactly does it mean to be in the moment? Definitions on the web define the phrase thusly: "In the moment can be an expanded awareness of the present moment and all the moment is defined by - the environment, the space, the time, the situation, the attitude, the entire scene." I had an experience today that makes me say "Yup, that about sums it up!"
Several days ago my nestmate (probably as a result of some not-so-gentle urging by me) purchased a pretty, bright blue second maxi-scooter for our nest. Today being a glorious, sunny, perfect, relaxing second day of three whole days of freedom from work, we joined up with some new friends on two wheels and took off for a ride through the Wine Country in the beautiful Sonoma countryside. Even though I have had my motorcyle license for a year now and have been riding the Gray Ghost to work and back (a whopping 7 miles each way) this was in my mind the first real ride by myself. We left home about 9:30 AM, motoring discretely up the Old Redwood Highway through the big town of Cotati (past the slightly disapproving eyes of the statue of the Accordion Player in the town square). A pause at the last stoplight in town, a deep breath, and then Zoom! Up onto the freeway and into the 65 mile-an-hour traffic headed north. After smoothly merging into the flow of cars and trucks and settling down to an easily maintained cruising speed two things occurred to me simutaneously - 1) I can do this! and 2) this is really fun!!
The rest of the day contined to roll along in the same fashion. We met our friends at the Chevron station just north of Santa Rosa and headed east into the wine country and up into the mountains that border the vineyards. The young lady who was the ride leader set a smooth pace up and down the winding roads, rolling past acres of vines looking green and fat with the promise of wine, and following roads overlooking gorgeous panoramas of the hills and valleys below. The sun was perfect, the temperature was perfect, the Ghost was running perfect, the turns flowed past perfectly and that's when I had my Aha! moment - at this one moment in my life I knew exactly what it is to really be "in the moment".
There will be more good rides in the future, in fact we are planning to take two weeks of vacation on our Burgies and ride from the home nest to the Vancouver, WA nest and back in early July. I am sure we will have lots of great experiences to remember and share, but this very special first ride, this experience of being totally in the moment, will always shine in my memory.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
Unreasonable Expectations
Today being a rainy, cozy kind of day we decided to watch a movie after dinner. The mailman had brought the latest Netflix that we had requested: "Martian Child". I was a bit skeptical in the beginning but it only took 5 minutes of the movie for me to get hooked. Truly a well-made, well-acted movie. Towards the end there came a moment that totally rocked me - the main adult character, a successful writer of science fiction by trade, is chastised by his publisher with these words "why can't you be what we want you to be?"!!
In a flash I was a child again, and then a teenager, and, of course, a young wife and mother. How many times in my life have I heard these words in one form or another "be what we want you to be"? Always they left me wondering - what is wrong with the way I am? Why must I try to conform to an image that is so not me? Is the me I am so unlovable?
I think I have always been a bit of a Martian child. I have always struggled to fit in, but always really felt on the edge of the crowd, slightly outside of the norm, able to don a cloak and fit in the scene for brief periods of time but happier to be by myself on the whole.
Age has brought me, if not wisdom, then at least the ability to be content with myself and no longer so anxious to please others. If only I had been able to be content with myself when younger. (It helps, too, that my nestmate loves me as I am, including oddities and imperfections.)
I hope that my chicks do not also carry this unwelcome baggage through their own lives. God constructs each one of us as unique individuals; we are all lovable just the way we are, for our own special gifts and talents. If God loves us, as He does without question, then it is not for others to withhold their love and approval in an attempt to mold us to satisfy their own needs.
In a flash I was a child again, and then a teenager, and, of course, a young wife and mother. How many times in my life have I heard these words in one form or another "be what we want you to be"? Always they left me wondering - what is wrong with the way I am? Why must I try to conform to an image that is so not me? Is the me I am so unlovable?
I think I have always been a bit of a Martian child. I have always struggled to fit in, but always really felt on the edge of the crowd, slightly outside of the norm, able to don a cloak and fit in the scene for brief periods of time but happier to be by myself on the whole.
Age has brought me, if not wisdom, then at least the ability to be content with myself and no longer so anxious to please others. If only I had been able to be content with myself when younger. (It helps, too, that my nestmate loves me as I am, including oddities and imperfections.)
I hope that my chicks do not also carry this unwelcome baggage through their own lives. God constructs each one of us as unique individuals; we are all lovable just the way we are, for our own special gifts and talents. If God loves us, as He does without question, then it is not for others to withhold their love and approval in an attempt to mold us to satisfy their own needs.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
